I’m sure you all know of Green Goddess by now: She’s pristine and clean. Listen, I like her, but she’s had her moment, and you are not here for the clean girl aesthetic. I think it’s about time we all unleash our inner goblins and embrace our hot mess. The Green Goblin is as delicious as the Goddess, but the Goblin is for those moments when you’re feeling frisky and debaucherous. We are turning up more than just the heat, and this salad will be your new partner in crime.

SERVES 4 TO 6 AS A SIDE, OR 2 OR 3 AS A MAIN

Ingredients:

Spicy Green Goblin Dressing

  • 1/2 cup plain full-fat Greek yogurt
  • 1/2 cup fresh parsley
  • 1/2 cup mixed fresh herbs,
  • such as mint, basil, dill, and/or tarragon
  • 1/4 cup fresh cilantro
  • 1 tablespoon chopped
  • fresh chives
  • 2 tablespoons pine nuts, toasted
  • 1 tablespoon seasoned
  • rice vinegar
  • 1/2 jalapeño, some seeds
  • removed (or not, for spice!) and chopped
  • 1/2 small shallot, chopped
  • 1 small garlic clove, peeled
  • 1 teaspoon drained capers
  • 1 lemon, halved
  • Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

Salad

  • 1 large head leafy lettuce (I like butter lettuce), leaves separated and chopped or torn, or 6 cups thinly sliced green cabbage
  • 2 Persian cucumbers, diced
  • 1 avocado, diced
  • 1/4 cup pine nuts, toasted, for serving

Directions:

  1. Make the dressing. In a blender or food processor, combine the yogurt, all the herbs, the pine nuts, vinegar, jalapeño, shallot, garlic, and capers. Squeeze a little juice from one lemon half into the blender and season with salt and pepper. Pulse the machine in very short bursts, scraping down the sides as needed, until well combined and creamy; how many pulses will depend on your machine, but it may seem like it’s never going to happen and then all of the sudden-bam!-you’ve got dressing, so be patient. Taste and season with more lemon juice, salt, and/or pepper to your liking.
  2. Make the salad. In a large bowl, combine the lettuce, cucumbers, and avocado. Drizzle with the dressing to taste and toss to combine. Sprinkle with the pine nuts before serving.

Hot Tip: Never get dressed too early. (I’m talking about the salad.)